Stimulating a woman’s clitoris can be incredibly pleasurable, but it takes time to learn what strokes and techniques feel good. It also helps to find a place that’s private so you can focus and enjoy the experience without worry about others interrupting you.
Try lubing up and using your fingers or a sex toy to play with the clitoris, labia minora, and vaginal walls. This will often trigger orgasms for many people.
1. Go slow
While a lot of women experience orgasm during masturbation, it isn’t always easy. If you’re new to the self-pleasure game, it’s important to start slow and gradually build up the pleasure. As a sexologist tells Bustle, “If you start too fast, it can lead to a climax that doesn’t feel good.”
You can also use lubrication to help get the kink out of your body and make things easier for yourself. Some people find that using a toy or vibrator during masturbation is more satisfying than just using their hands.
Changing up the position you’re in can help too. For example, some people like to lie down while others prefer to stand up or lean against something. If you have a speaker, try listening to some erotic music to help set the mood for your masturbation session. You might even want to consider setting the lights a little low and lighting some candles.
Masturbation is a great opportunity to figure out what turns you on sexually and where your sensual pleasure zones are. You can explore different areas of your genitals (like your clitoris and G spot, as indicated in this diagram) or other areas like your inner thighs, ears, or nipples.
You can use your hands, a vibrator, or sex toys. You can also try combination masturbation, which involves stimulating both your clit and your vagina simultaneously with various techniques, such as rubbing, massaging, or stroking. You can even get creative and play with different ways to stroke your clit, such as kneading it in a rhythm or pressing down on it.
It’s also a great time to experiment with what gets you in the mood, whether that’s a playlist, scented oils, dimmed lights, or sexy porn. Getting a feel for what makes you orgasm will help you to communicate those things to your lover and build up anticipation during play.
3. Set the mood
Many women have a hard time feeling excited about masturbation. That’s why it’s so important to figure out what arouses you. If you’re unsure, try masturbating with a pillow or stuffed animal (sex toys for women are also an option). A soft object is great because it’ll give you sensation against your vulva. Rocking and stroking can really arouse you, too. If you want to take it up a notch, use a vibrator.
Masturbation can feel like a chore, or something you’d rather get done quickly so you can get on to other things. Rushing can drain the pleasure, and it can even lead to premature ejaculation (PE). Pleasure alone is an important part of self-care, so don’t be in a hurry. The more you practice, the faster you’ll reach your G spot and start to enjoy masturbation on its own. Orgasms can help ease period cramps and boost mood, and there’s no reason to stop if you don’t feel like it.
4. Be comfortable
For a lot of people, masturbation isn’t the most comfortable thing to do. That’s especially true when you’re masturbating alone.
The key is to find ways to make it comfortable for you. Some of that might involve adding a blanket or pillow to your masturbation spot for comfort. Creating a playlist can add to the mood as well. Aromatherapy can also work — spritz on some perfume or use a special room spray for an extra sensual kick.
Masturbation can be a great way to get to know your body and figure out what areas of the body turn you on most. It can be stimulating to massage your clitoris, nipples or inner thighs for pleasure. And don’t be afraid to experiment with different masturbation techniques as well, like dry humping (also known as cowgirl humping), grinding your vulva against the surface you are on or using a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris.
6. Stimulate the clitoris
The clitoris is the pearl-sized organ at the top of your vulva that is packed with nerve endings. It is one of the most sensitive parts of your body, and stimulating it can be an incredible orgasm trigger.
Stimulate the clitoral hood with your fingers, a sex toy, or a pillow or blanket that grinds against the area. Try stroking it in circles or up and down, then speed up the motion as you feel your partner begin to respond.
Then move to the lower part of your vulva, or labia majora. Stimulate it with your finger, and then move to the outer lips of your vulva, and finally the inner ones. This is called combination masturbation, and it can be a great way to get your partner excited and stimulate the clitoral hood.